Sunday, November 20, 2011

Let me love you

Okay, soooooo sorry that this has taken so long to get to you!! I apologize times like... a million. I've been really busy, drama with boys, school, freaking out that I have to wait till Christmas for Doctor Who and until the 5 of freaking January for Vampire Diaries to come back. UGH. It might kill me. It's so hard to have such brilliant shows take breaks at the same time... roughly. Bah. Anyway, the majority of this chapter was written today during church. Want to know what I wrote it on? The back of receipts and some note cards. Yep, I'm that cool. I'm definitely the next J.K. Rowling. Anyway, please please please let me know what you think about this chapter. I threw in some huge character developing curves and I need to know if it worked. I feel like it almost was just thrown in because I needed it to happen, but let me know! Please!!!!!!

Oh, and because I love all of you that read this (just for fun):

Anyway, without further adieu, I give you chapter Twenty-eight

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Vance and I had driven out into the country side, and just kept driving. The look in Stitch's eyes when I left had been haunting me throughout the entire drive, grating on the back of my mind, eating at my subconscious. He knew now, there was no denying that. The look on his face was enough to tell me that he knew. What would I do now? Vance probably knew that my secret was out, and would probably have a way to keep Stitch away from me. That was all I needed to know. What Vance's plan was now. He would protect me. He always had.


There was nothing for scenery besides open fields and empty spaces. We drove for what seemed like hours before Vance pulled off onto the side of the road and stopped. He stepped out of his car and walked around the side to let me out. Taking my hand he lead me out into a field and walked me right into the middle of it. Letting go of my hands, he turned around and walked away, telling me to stay in place. Confused but excited, I stood there, waiting for someting to happen when suddenly the dirt next to me exploded. I screamed, jumping away from the crater. As I jumped, another pile of dirt exploded, making me jump back into place.

"Now you try," Vance said with a smirk.

"How, I don't even know what to do!" I called, holding my hands together keeping them from shaking.

He stood and stared at me, a smile on his face. His smile was a cross of a smirk of arrogance, and challenge. My body was shaking now, the adrenaline coursing through my veins was enough to make me dizzy. Thinking about the magic I was about to weild was increadible. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. When I opened my eyes, the world had suddenly become filled with vibrant colors swirling around everything. Gasping, I spun in a circle drinking in the world around me. It was beautiful!

"Vance! What is this? The... everything... it's so colorful!" I yelled excitedly, continuing to spin around.

"That's the ether in the world. It's the magic of the elements and nature around you. Everything has it. It's where we draw our power from." Vance explained,  "You have it, I have it. Ours is just colored differently because we can control the ether around us. Now, in order to do what I did, all you need to do is focus, and will the energy around you to do your bidding." 

Taking another deep breath, I felt the energy bending around me, my skin tingled with the ether from the air, and as I opened my eyes the energy shot away from me, and the dirt in front of Vance exploded with a greater force than his shot at me. A huge smile split my face, amazed that I had actually done it. I started jumping up and down and celebrating with myself, dancing in a circle, and singing about my victory. In the height of my celebration, I turned around to find Vance standing within inches of my body. His hands slipped onto my hips and he stepped forward, pressing his body against mine. His smile was soft as it had been the night before.

"That's my girl," he whispered. "You're amazing, always were." He tapped the end of my nose playfully. "You know, the first time I met you, I was jealous because you were better than me."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You, jealous? Of me?" I snorted, "Seriously? That seems ridiculous. I'm not that good."

"You aren't yet." He winked. "We'll get you there."

I wasn't sure who innitiated it, but suddenly our lips crashed together and a red hot bubble of passion burst forth from some deep place in my soul. His body felt so perfect against mine as if we were two stones cut from the same mountain and molded to fit perfectly within each fold and curve. His arms tightened around me, pulling my body closer to his as if he wished us to merge together into one soul. Our lips danced together in perfect harmony. His lips moved to the corner of my mouth, trailing down my jaw and onto the soft flesh of my neck. I shiverred, reveling in the feeling of his soft lips against my skin. His tongue caressed my collarbone, and his hands slipped under my sweater. His fingertips were cold, drawing goosebumps to my skin. My body shuddered, and he laughed into my neck.

"We can take this somewhere warmer," he suggested, gently sucking at the skin by the base of my neck. "If you'd like."

I nodded absently. He took my hand and lead me excitedly to his car. We could scarcely take two steps before one of us would grab the other and steal a few kisses. When we made it to the car, he threw open the back door and the two of us clamored over each other into the seat. We were like animals, feral and primal, the universe melted away and it was only he and I in existence. I suddenly felt alive. I was aware of my body in ways that I had never been before. Every touch, every movement was heightened; I had been taken to a place beyond human feeling. This was the feel of something more. I had never been more aware of the sensation of a pair of hands against my skin. My would had changed for good and I would never see anything the same. Vance's fingers against my bare skin ignited my flesh with a blazing heat that rushed through my entire body, filling me with power.
The windows of the car had become dense with fog, sheilding us from the outside world. My mind was so focused on Vance that I hardly noticed the radio, which had turned on and was sliding wildly between stations, never dwelling on any one for too long. The volume rose, swelling with the movement of our bodies against each other, dying suddenly. Vance's hands slipped under my sweater, slowly dragging it up my body until he had slipped it over my head. He tossed it haphazzardly into the front seat and his lips went to work, hungrily perusing my skin. My body screamed for him to stop teasing me, but he seemed intent on continuing his game. I took his shirt in fistfulls, yanking it off of him and throwing it into the windsheild.

He smirked against my collarbone. "Easy, love," he murmured, almost purring the words.
"You're such a tease," I whined, playfully tugging at his belt. "I'm starting to think you don't want me anymore."

He smirked, hooking his leg through mine, and in an instant he had rolled me under him and in another mad frenzy he made me his once more.

I can't say how long we were in that car, parked lazily in the middle of a feild, but it hardly felt long enough. The car was hot, sticky, but comfortable. Vance and I lie side by side on the back seat, our bare bodies against each other, his chest against my back, warming my body. I enjoyed his closeness and wished never to leave his side. He and I would be together forever. I would never leave him.

"I should be getting you back." Vance whispered against my hair, his fingers trailing lightly up my bare thigh.
"I don't want to go back." I said, my entire body suddently filling with dread.

I couldn't go back to the school. Stitch would be there; he would be waiting to get me alone because now he knew. The memory of his expression filled my mind. I wasn't strong enough to keep him from over powering me. I had only just begun exploring my powers. I shuddered.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" I asked. "I don't want to go back to the school right now," I swallowed. "Stitch will be there."

He kissed my hair, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I would love to have you, but you need to stay at the school tonight." He said simply. "Cam will be there. He will protect you."

I craned my neck, twisting myself to look at him. "Cam? What can he do to protect me?"

  Vance chuckled, his blue eyes glittering playfully, almost dangerously. "Cam is my apprentice. He has been versed in the ways of our kind for many years now. I have no doubt in my mind that he can protect you against Stitch."

My eyes grew wide, my jaw going slack. "Seriously?"

He just smiled, handing me my shirt. Still processing the information, I put my shirt on mechanically. Vance dressed quickly, being completely dressed before I had managed to get my shirt on completely. He helped me dress, and kissed my temple.

"Are you okay?" He asked, stroking my hair. "You look as if you've seen a ghost."

Shaking myself out of my daze I smiled and climbed into the front seat. We drove back to the school, his hand constantly on my thigh, saying nothing, but communicating everything. I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me. He would have Cam protect me. A pleasant shiver ran through my body. When we pulled up to the school there were a few people out front, watching the car like hawks. When Vance got out of the car there was a stir in the croud. He moved fluidly to the door and opened it for me. I slipped out, looking at the crowd. Molly, my jealous life-ruining roommate, stepped forward smiling demurely at Vance.

"I was beginning to wonder when I was going to see you again, darling." She purred. Casting a nasty glance at me, betraying her bedroom eyes, she continued. "I thought you would be one to stay away from the trash on the streets."

Vance's jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing dangerously. A wave of pure fear washed over me. In that instant both Molly and I were truly afraid of Vance. His aura had become dark and wild, full of a white hot fury I had never felt before. It was radiating off of him, filling the ether in the air, charging the area with dark energy. I stepped away from him, only slightly, but it was enough that he noticed and the energy vanished instantly. He glanced at me, his eyes were not soft, hurt almost. He turned to Molly, saying pointedly,

"Don't ever address her as trash again," his voice was sharp and painstakingly clear. "Or we will see what trash I come to take out next."

His hand slid around my waist, leading me away from the group and into the building. It seemed that the moment we stepped foot into the building Cam had materialized beside us, constantly two paces behind. I could feel his eyes on my back the entire time. When we stepped onto the elevator, he stood on the opposite side of the car, watching me with lishgly downcast eyes. He followed behind us to the door of my room, and thereVance kissed me, holding me against  holding me against his body. I didn't want it to end, and when he separated himself from me, I clung to his shirt, the invitation to stay waiting on my lips. He smiled, knowing my thoughts and put his finger on my lips.

"I can't stay," he whispered, "I’ll see you tomorrow, beautiful.”  He kissed my forehead and began to walk away. “Cam, take care of her, and see that Stitch never gets the chance to be alone with her.”

Cam nodded sharply, and the two of us watched Vance until the elevator doors closed.

“When were you planning on telling me that you were like me?” I demanded.

He glanced at me. “When the time was right, but it seems that Vance already told you,” he walked me inside, leading me straight to my door. “Good night, I’ll be back for you in the morning.”

I sat on the edge of my bed, waiting for Cam to say the words playing on his lips, but he simply nodded and closed the door. With a sigh, I adjusted myself on my bed. The pain was finally starting to catch up to me. The aching muscles, the strain of heavy physical work, the strain on my back. I hadn’t felt this pain for over a year and a half. Remembering the pain brought tears to my eyes. I crossed the room, locked the doors, and went to my dresser. I pulled my diary out of the drawer and crossed the room and sat on my bed. I flipped through the aged and sunworn pages until I came to that tear stained page, crinkled and torn, doctored with tape, and when the tape had run out, a bandaid kept the corner of the page in place. My hands started shaking as I looked at the page. 

October 17,
I’m late. My period is late. It’s been seventeen days since the party. Since Rush and I had sex. It was stupid of us. We were both drunk, and completely out of our minds. It didn’t occur to either of us what we were doing, and now, here I am looking at the consequences. It’s been seventeen days... and I’m late. I stole one of my mom’s pregnancy tests, but I’m too terrified to use it. What if its’s true? What if I am pregant? I’m sixteen years old... way too young to be a mother. And Rush is in no condition to be a father. His addiction to cocane and booze is not good. My addiction is no better. If I’m pregnant, this baby is going to be a crack baby, and I won’t do that to them. It hardly seems fair to do that to a child. What do I do? I can’t tell my mom. She’ll kill me. She already doesn’t trust me since she found out about my cocane stash in the guest house. I’m red. Tell me what to do. I’m not ready for this. It’s not what I want right now. Telling Rush would be catastrophic. He would lose his mind. What do I do?

I felt tears well up in my eyes, threatening to spill over and leave further stains on my page. With a shaking hand I turned the page to the next entry.

October 31,

I finally told my mom. She forced me to take a pregnancy test after noticing that I hadn’t been eating breakfast, and my trips to the bathroom every morning for the last few days. It came back positive. I braced myself for a trainwreck, but instead she sat calmly on the edge of my bed and cradled me in her arms. I cried for hours, pouring everything out onto the table. There would be no more secrets between us. I felt like a toddler again, needing my mom more than ever before. I was absolutely terrified. After I had quieted to nothing more than the occassional wimper, my mom finally spoke.
“When did this happen?” She asked
“Thirty days ago...” I replied.
'""So, the test is right, It’s been long enough.”  Her voice was so calm and even toned I was absolutely terrified. I would have preferred the yelling. “How do you feel?”
I told her how scared I was, how nervous, and cornered I felt. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted it all to go away and wished I could rewid time and go back to change everything that had happened. I didn’t want this baby. I didn’t want it to be born into a place where I couldn’t take care of it. I knew that wasn’t entirely the truth. My family had the mans to care for this child, but that wasn’t the point. I couldn’t stand knowing that I had made the choice to create an unwanted life. And then there was Rush. What was I supposed to tell him? Mom put it in simiple terms.
“Tell him exactly like it is. Don’t sugar coat it. He’s going to be a father, and together you will have to make a descision to either get married and raise this child, or you will give it up for adoption.” She released me, kissing my head and leaving the room. “Call Rush, have his parents over for dinner tomorrow night. This is something we all need to discuss together as well.”
I protested, knowing that Rush’s parents would overreact and make the problem worse than it already was.... I called Rush an hour ago. He is coming over an hour before his parents so the two of us could figure this out and have a moment to ourselves. He sounded hysterical over the phone and I knew this was going to be a long night. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow.

I was crying now. Memories of that day came flooding into my mind, and the same fear that gripped me then was holding me captive now. Rush’s parents had arrived under the premise that we were having dinner as good friends. It was partially true. My mom lead the dinner discussion; when she neared the topic of my pregnancy, Rush put his hand on my knee, and together the two of us braced ourselves for the worst. Rush’s father was shocked into complete silence, and I wished his mother had been too. She screamed at Rush, and then at me, for making such a stupid descision regarding our futures. I always knew you alcohol would ruin you. I didn’t say anything because I drank in high school, but this has proved your stupidity. She had screamed. Rush--not one for tears--had a steady stream of water leaking from his eyes throughout the entire conversation. My mother tried to calm Mrs. Nickleson down, but she would have none of it. What do you plan on doing with the child, Laela? She demanded, her eyes boring through me like a knife. I felt like shrinking into my seat, wishing I could disappear and die in a desolate cave. We’re putting it up for adoption. My aunt Lilly is looking to adopt anyway. I replied sheepishly. My mother had thought it a brilliant idea to have my aunt adopt the baby, but apparently Mrs. Nickleson thought otherwise. No, there will be no adoption. You two will live with the consequences of the choice you made. You’ll be married. Again, my mother tried to be the voice of reason, but Mrs. Nickleson had had it. She stood, glared daggers at her husband, and yanked Rush out of his chair, informing us she would be back tomorrow with the proper papers. Rush looked back over his shoulder, his eyes so full of fear it hurt me to look at him, and smiled sadly, mouthing the words, “See you tomorrow,” before his mother yanked him out the door.

Our lives didn’t get any easier. I constantly felt like people were watching me, judging me, even though Rush and I had sworn not to tell a soul. I hadn’t even told Keltie, and she was my best friend. I felt like I was living life in a haze for the next few months, and when it was becoming apparent that I was pregnant, life got harder. People truly were judging me, though I certainly was no the only pregnant girl at the school. I begged my mom to take me out of school until I had the baby, but she insisted that I stay in, and live with the mistake I had made. At the end of my second month, I was showing; I had always been a skinny girl, and that made it quickly obvious that I was pregnant. You could only hide the baby for so long before someone noticed you weren’t getting fat, you were getting round. A month later, my world shattered. 

I was fourteen weeks into my pregnancy, and that day I would hear the seven words that would change my life forever. I had gone with my mother to get an ultrasound, it was supposed to be routine, checking for signs of down syndrome in the baby, but as it turned out, nothing went as planned. Laying with my head tossed back, staring at anything but the screen, I waited as the nurse lathered my stomach with the cold gel. When the doctor came in and ran the monitor over my stomach, his quiet, but sudden intake of breath snapped my head up. His face was grim as he exchanged a knowing look with my mother. She bit her lip, her body quivvering. 
“Mom, what’s going on?” I asked, trying to sit up.

“Laela, I’m so sorry,” she choked, turning her head to cry into her shoulder. 

Bewildered, I stared at the doctor, whose eyes had turned sad. “I’m sorry, but you’ve  experienced a misscarriage.”

My throat closed. NO, my baby... my baby can’t be dead. I couldn’t think straight, tears began cascading down my cheeks. I babbled hysterically for him to check again, that my baby couldn’t be gone. This was a lie. He was lying to me. My baby couldn’t die. He explained that due to my use of drugs, and perhaps my age, my body had not been able to support the embryo, and my body had spontaneously aborted it to protect itself, but I wouldn’t hear a word of it. When my mother and I arrived home I locked myself in my room for days, refusing to come out. My mother had tried to come in, but each time she succeeded, I threw something at her, screaming for her to leave me alone. It wasn’t until Rush came over that I allowed someone into my room. He sat on the bed, holding me to his chest and let me cry for hours, shedding silent tears himself. From that day forward, the two of us shared a bond I could never really explain. It was a bond of complete understanding and trust. Blind trust really. He and I would do anything for each other.

Clearing my head of the memories, my hand went to my stomach.  I could have made the same mistake once again.






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